190 – The 4 Cs Of Influence

John Over the last two decades, I’ve been on a quest to learn everything I can about leadership obsessed with what makes the best leaders so good after running companies small and large for the last 20 years. Today, I speak on stages all across the world to audiences who are interested in that same question. My name’s John Laurito and I’m your host. I invite you to join me on this journey as we explore this topic. What makes the best leaders so good? Welcome to tomorrow’s leader. All right, welcome to today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader, where we dove deep on all things related to leading yourself and leading others. 

John I’m John Laurito, your host on this beautifully gorgeous Thursday afternoon. So I’m going to start with a couple of different stories. And this is going to lead into a point and all about influence. So I know you leaders are always craving information and how do I become more influential? And even if you’re in sales, I mean, sales have influenced how you’re influencing people to take certain actions, feel a certain way, think a certain way, whatever the case may be. Two great examples of what not to do. So this would actually fall also under the business blunders category and tomorrow’s leaders. 

John So let me start off. Both of these have to do with my son’s jeep. So many of you know, earlier this year, I got him a used jeep, which is like my dream car, let alone a kid’s dream car. He’s going off to college. Just dropped him off at Loyola Marymount in Los Angeles. Oh, wow. What an incredible place. But heartbreaking to leave him there. And he’s 3000 miles away and I’m hating it. So an event that’s a whole nother episode. But as a part of him going to college, he has this jeep, which is an awesome vehicle. You know, you’ve got top off doors off. I mean, it’s every kid’s dream, at least mine. And I would have loved to have something like this and would love to have something like this now, which I did up until about two weeks ago when we shipped it off to him. 

John So Navot, here’s a couple of interesting stories. One is the process of shipping this now. I didn’t want him to drive it out there because it’s three thousand miles, so we decided to ship it out there. Not an inexpensive deal. I mean, to get a car across the country, you’re looking at anywhere from a thousand fifteen hundred bucks. They put it on a car transport and they drive it out there literally, just like you’ve seen these big things, behemoth, you know, things with eight or nine cars on them. That’s what they take out there across the country. So then I called the company that was highly recommended. They send somebody now I was out of town. I was actually in Los Angeles dropping him off at school when they came to pick up the car. So my twin sister Julie met them to arrange to hand over the keys. 

John And they put the car, the Jeep up on the transport vehicle. And then she signs the paperwork and all this kind of stuff. So they call me while I’m out there and my sister says, listen, this guy has a problem with the Jeep. There’s part of the soft top that is flapping and he’s concerned about it blowing off and damaging some of the other cars. And he said he wants to talk to you. I said, okay, no problem. So I get on the phone and I start explaining to him. I said you know, the soft top is secure. I’ve driven it in eighty miles an hour down the highway. It’s never any problem, never come off. He interrupts me and says, Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. I’ve been doing this five years, you don’t need to tell me, and I’m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec. 

John What is this actually how you’re talking to me? What are you kidding? And he not only interrupts me but goes down this path of berating me, saying that I don’t have the right to tell him what to do. Obviously, things went way haywire at that point. And I got really angry. And I’ve literally been on the phone for ten seconds before all this just exploded. And I’m like, you’ve got to be kidding me. I said you have no right to talk to me this way. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, he goes on and says, or I guess my sister came back on and said, he wants you to sign something, saying that he’s not responsible in any way for any damage that’s done to the vehicle, this and that. And, you know, it could damage other cars. And if the Jeep itself is damaged, he’s not going to take responsibility, all that kind of stuff. 

John I said no, absolutely not. No. And I said, even if that’s normal operating procedure, I didn’t know about it, first of all, that I was gonna have to sign a liability waiver, but more so is this guy’s attitude. Honestly, what? Like I’m not going to give this person business when they talk to me and treat me that way. And I’m certainly not going to trust somebody who’s also, you know, acting that way. And with my car going across the or my son’s car going across the country. Anyways, we ended the call and I just said, listen, I’m not doing business with this guy. Send him away. We’ll get somebody else, which ended up doing the next person was fantastic. And it worked. 

John Now, in between firing that guy and hiring the new transport guy, there was a dispatch company basically that handles all this. And I’d spoken to the lady there who was very helpful and very nice throughout the whole process. And she said, well, you know, those are kind of dicey and they are risky sometimes these soft tops because they are driving for a long period of time out there. If it did fly off, sometimes they have been known to cause damage. That waiver, if that were to happen, is a pretty standard operating thing. You know, after talking to reckon I understood that. But my point was I should have or my my my point is I should have known that in advance. That one thing. Hey, listen, she knew the car is going to take here’s what you’re going to need. Here’s all the paperwork and here’s this and that. But the bigger problem is this guy’s attitude. 

John I mean, honestly, like, I’m doing him a favor, and or he’s doing me a favor, rather. And just the attitude of, you know, you’re not going to tell me what I was even what I was doing anyway. That’s story number one. Story number two also had to do with the Jeep. And then I’ll tie this into influence. Story number two was I had prior to this one, my son’s car to get looked at and inspected and make sure everything was all right. So we had a couple of things. That’s the twenty-twelve. So it’s got a few miles on it. I want to make sure it’s working right and all that and safe. And so we took it to one place first to look at they looked at it, they said everything is fine, no problem at all whatsoever. We just did an oil change. That’s it said all right, no problem. Paid whatever it was. Got the car back. Well, maybe a couple of weeks after that, it started to have some other issues. It didn’t start one day. It was in the battery. I thought maybe was the alternator or something like that. And it was making some funny noise, the clutch and stuff, stuff like that. 

John So all kinds of problems. I don’t know, cars that well. So or really much at all other than a few things. So I’m like, OK, well let’s take it to somebody else. And we took it to another place that had been recommended. And this guy now, keep in mind, this was only two weeks after the first place looked at it, said everything was great and all you need is an oil change. Now, this person looked at it and my son Nick calls me up and he apparently had gotten this information before I did. He said, yeah, they found a number of problems. I said, a number of problems? He said, yeah, they found everything from the brakes to the alternator to this and that clutch. And he said it’s going to be five thousand dollars. I’m like, what what are you talking about, 5000 dollars? How did this go from zero to five thousand fifty bucks to five thousand dollars? And I ended up going there seeing the guy. And, you know, the conversation basically was like, well, you know, it looks like you needs stitches. 

John But this is, I think, what it needs is a new clutch and yeah, this too. Well, maybe not this part. He handed me the invoice and he’s going through this five thousand dollar invoice and said, well, maybe you don’t need this, but you need that. And this is a must, well, this one, yeah I don’t know if you really do need it or not. Now, meanwhile, he was the one who did this inspection. He was the one who made the recommendations. He’s the one who came up with the five thousand dollar invoice. Now, all of a sudden, I’m thinking, OK, well, you don’t really know or you’re not projecting that you’re very confident in this, first of all. Secondly, I’m starting to question your character a little bit because how does this five thousand dollar figure come out? 

John You know, I don’t really buy the fact that this is five thousand dollars worth of repairs anyways. Needless to say, I leave, get another recommendation and take it somewhere else. And this time they recommended they said, listen, to be very honest with you, we have not been able to duplicate the problem. So we cannot definitively say we can’t have been able to duplicate the symptoms we have. We cannot definitively say what the problem is. I could tell you what we think it is. What we think it is is this, in which case it’s going to be about eleven hundred dollars. But we can’t be certain of this. And we want to be full and fair disclosure on that. If you want to go ahead with that repair, it’s eleven hundred dollars. But we have not been able to replicate the symptom and for that reason, we can’t definitively tell you that’s the problem. 

John Hey, I respect that 100 percent. We ended up not doing it, but at the same point, we’re going to go back to them if there is a problem and we can confirm that or the symptom continues, which it hasn’t, we’ll go back to them. Absolutely no problem, because they were confident, they were honest. I felt they were trustworthy by minus. Here’s what influence comes down to. I look at the forces when you’re trying to influence somebody to do something and ultimately take a step in a direction that they have not taken before. I don’t care if you’re leading an organization or you’re in sales or you run an auto repair shop. Those forces that are really important, one is confidence. So we will all be influenced by somebody who is very confident in what the recommendations should be. If my doctor says, I absolutely know this is the issue and this is how to solve it, just the fact that he or she is that confident will influence me a little bit and will influence most people, so the first C, and this is not in a particular order, the first is confidence. 

John Second C is clarity. If the steps that I have to take are clear and the advice is clear and not wishy-washy, then it will lead me to more likelihood of acting on that and taking that advice and that person influencing me. If it’s confusing, if it’s cloudy, if it’s complicated, I’m not going to be likely to take action. If it’s clear there’s clarity, then I will be likely to take action. That’s the second C. 

John The third C is competence. Who’s the person that’s trying to influence me? Do I have the feeling that they are competent, that they know what they’re doing, that 5000 dollar guy? Now, I didn’t really feel the same way I would for many people. If they don’t if I don’t feel that they have the expertise or they’ve had a successful experience with what I’m trying to do. And that experience has been recent or they have a track record of success, then I’m less likely to follow them. Right. If I’m working with a personal trainer who is really out of way, out of shape, and overweight, I’m less likely to take their advice and work with them as a trainer because they have not done it for themselves. They’re not demonstrating competence. They may know the book smarts of training, but they haven’t actually done it. So my confidence in their competence is not very high. So that’s the third C. 

John And the fourth C is character. As you can imagine. I need to be able to trust this person. I need to know that they have my best interests at heart. OK, so if I’m a leader, my people are not going to follow me. If they feel like my leadership is all about me and it’s not helping them get what they want and get where they want, ultimately it’s got to be about them. And if you’re a leader and you’ve got a big, bold vision, you have to be great at tying that individual to the vision. When we get to this vision, here’s what it means to you in your role. Here’s how your life’s going to change. Here’s how you’re going to benefit the with from what’s in it. For me, that’s a key part. And character is all about helping people attain what they want to attain and what’s better for them, what’s going to make their life better. OK, so those are the forces that I think are absolutely imperative to influence. 

John One is confidence. You are projecting confidence. This is the direction we need to go. You’re going to be more likely to influence people to go there. Clarity. Is it a simple path or is it confusing? If it’s confusing, cloudy, foggy, whatever, they’re less likely to follow you. The third is competence. Do you demonstrate competence? Have you taken this road before? Have you had recent success with what they’re trying to do? Do you have a strong track record? Do you have the knowledge these are all things that are going to contribute to competence? Do I have other people who worked with you that have given an endorsement for working with you and taking advice from you in the last one as character? This is showing that you care about this person and your advice, your leadership, your direction is all about helping them obtain, attain rather their goals, and help make their life better. 

John So for to influence this is a fantastic topic. I think for any leader, everybody can get better in this and more impactful influence more people in a more positive way. And that’s what this is all about. And certainly, my friends running those to two friends at the organizations there could benefit from this podcast. So anyway, I hope this helps, as always, greatly appreciate your ideas on future guests and content and stories and all kinds of stuff. I’ll give you a shout-out, as I have several times before. 

John For those of you who do submit some stuff, as always, share subscribe like go down below, give a five-star review and I will see you next time. Thanks. Thanks for joining us on today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader for suggestions or inquiries about having me at your next event or personal coaching, reach me at John@johnlaurito.com Once again, that’s John@johnlaurito.com. Thanks, lead on!