196 – The Decision Procrastinator

John Over the last two decades, I’ve been on a quest to learn everything I can about leadership obsessed with what makes the best leaders so good after running companies small and large for the last 20 years. Today, I speak on stages all across the world to audiences who are interested in that same question. My name’s John Laurito and I’m your host. I invite you to join me on this journey as we explore this topic. What makes the best leaders so good? Welcome to tomorrow’s leader. All right, welcome to today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader, where we dove deep on all things leader related to leading yourself and leading others. 

John I am John Laurito, your host with the most. So I talked last, I guess it was two weeks ago, maybe about a concept of building, of how to build people’s confidence. And I said you know what? We don’t tell people enough what they’re doing. Well, we don’t catch them doing the right things. We don’t give compliments. We just tend to think things. And then we just let them stay in our brain when in reality, if everybody just went out and spoke the compliments that they had for other people, that would be a pretty amazing thing that would happen. 

John So is a little social experiment. I did that along with my sister, my brother-in-law. We were out last, I guess, a couple of weeks ago or maybe a week ago at an outdoor event. And we just started doing it. My sister said, you know, I just complimented this person. I do. And what you said on the podcast and I told them this and their whole face lit up and I’m like, yeah, let’s do that. So I went to a guy I love this shirt, I said. You got a great shirt on. He’s like, Well, thanks, man. It was almost like he was, you know, taken aback because maybe he don’t know. He didn’t he was surprised. It’s like you do things. But his whole demeanor changed and he complimented me. I mean, maybe that was just because he wanted to repay the compliment. 

John But I could tell his whole attitude changed then. I was at another kind of booth with a guy that was making cigars. I’m a big cigar fan and this guy was rolling cigars. I was asking about his business, how you do, and he said you have sold like a ton today. I’m like, that’s great, man. I said I’ve got to tell you, you’re doing a great job. These cigars smell great. They look great. You get your booth set up awesome. I mean, it just got to give you credit. I’m not surprised you’re having success. You’re doing it all the right way. He’s like, thanks, man. I mean, I could just tell his attitude changed. So just to follow up on that, try it if you have and just tell people and even somebody you’re working with. Hey, you know what? I don’t know. 

John I know I have not told you this, but you just have a great way of organizing and running and meeting. It goes fast. We get a lot done. I don’t know if anybody’s told you that, but it’s just I appreciate that because you help make everybody a little more productive by giving them back some time. And the time that we do spend together is really valuable. So if nobody’s told you that I do stuff like that, my guess is that will go a long way. And if people do that to you and compliment you and tell you the things that you’re doing, well, I’m sure it will change the course of your day. Certainly, your attitude is up, but that’s not today’s topic. 

John Today’s topic is the type of person that makes a decision but doesn’t really make a decision. This is the person that makes a decision to do something. But it’s at a far-off date. Now, we’ve done this all before. Time and time again. We’ve said, for example, hey, I’m going to go on a diet, I’m going to start a diet in two weeks. Well, now you’re not you’re not going to start a diet in two weeks or I’m going to start working out next week. I’m really going to commit to a gym workout. I’ve got a friend who said that many, many times next week. I’m strong. I’m going to do a whole kind of really dove in and start a very serious workout now, you know, and that’s no disrespect at all. I know the intention is there. 

John And that’s the thing. I never questioned anybody’s intention. Everybody has great intentions. They want to be disciplined. They want to do things like working out, going to the gym or dieting, or eating better. They want to start reading more. They want to start meditating. They want to do something different in their relationships. They want to come in earlier to work, start their day earlier. Whatever the case is, we all have these great intentions. But most of the time, most people just don’t follow through. And this is one of those things. When you make a commitment to do something, it feels good. You get a hit of dopamine, right? I am committing. I am the same right here. I’m putting the stake in the ground. I am going on a diet. I’m going to eat clean for a month. Whatever the case is, I’m going to start it in two weeks. It doesn’t matter. I feel good because I’ve made that statement. 

John So I’m actually giving myself a false feeling of accomplishment because all I’ve done is say that I’m going to do something, but I truly haven’t decided to do it. I may convince myself I’ve decided to do it because I’ve really committed I’ve said it very forcefully and with. Conviction and I’m going to do it, and again, my intentions are there, but if I really was serious about doing it, why am I putting it off two weeks? I mean, really, what’s different? OK, if I was really committed to dieting now, why would I not start right now? What’s different? Why would two weeks make a difference or a week or two days? Why would I wait two weeks, three weeks, two months, three months, whatever, to start doing something that I could start doing today? What’s the point now? 

John And one of my podcasts talks about the importance of resets. So there’s a reason why people look at different periods of time, like flipping the New Year. That’s an opportunity. It’s kind of a reset button. I start something new. It’s a new chapter of my life. Great. There’s a lot of value to that. So I’m not saying there’s never a case to do that. Take advantage of those reset moments to change different behaviors, create different habits, whatever the case may be. But when you catch yourself putting something off for no reason and just ask yourself, can I start what I’m talking about? Can I do what I’m talking about? Can I do it now? The only exception would be, is if there is some kind of order of events, there’s something that needs to happen. 

John Three things that need to happen before I do this. But I’m making the decision. I’m to do it now. I’m going to do step one, then step two, then step three. And then I will be able to do what I’m talking about. Fine, I get it. But most of the time, that’s not the case. So if you are caught in that situation or you find yourself in that situation, I just want you to challenge yourself and ask the question, why am I not starting today? OK, why am I not why am I delaying this? Is there a reason that I cannot start this today if I truly, really wanted to? Is there a way for me to start doing this today or take this action step today? You know, hey, I’m going to tell this person something. I’ve really wanted to tell my mom I have this conversation. 

John But to do it in a month, I’m going to do it in a week. You know why? I mean, unless there’s a specific, very specific reason why I’m going to ask my boss for a raise, but I’m going to do it. I’m going to it at home and do it in about a month, a month and a half. Why? I’m going to really I’m going to tell this person how I feel next week. You know why if this is how you feel today, what good is it to wait another week? In fact, it’s probably going to going to remove the impact because it’s a week after the fact. Have that conversation right then. The bottom line is people make decisions all the time. And again, it gives you a false sense of accomplishment because you say you’re going to do something, you commit to doing something, but you haven’t done it. 

John So you don’t deserve that feeling of accomplishment until you’ve actually done it. So instead of being in that talk mode or think mode, be in the do mode. It’s interesting. I’ve always separated people into three categories. There are thinkers, talkers who endure in general, and this is for the longest time. I just for some reason, my mind just separates people in those categories and, you know, the types, talkers or people that they just they talk and they talk really well. They say great things. They have the gift of gab, the silver tongue. I mean, they just sound like they’re so successful, but they’ve been so used to talking for their whole life and their whole career that that’s really what their strength is talking. 

John But when it comes down to it, they’re really not. And I’ve met people at parties or social events where I’m like, wow, they got to be the most successful person. Some of these talkers can actually convince you they have accomplished so much. And when you peel back the layers, you realize the person. Really, there’s nothing there. They’re just great at talking. They talk the part. Then there are other people that are what I call thinkers. These are the people. They are off the charts smart. They could be very analytic, whatever, or maybe very creative. They have great ideas, but they get stuck in think mode. That’s all they do is think about it. 

John Then they rethink it. Then they rethink their rethinking and then they analyze it. They hit the pause button, they go back, they redo it, they think some more. They think out of the box. I think in the box. They think over the box. They think under the box. Ultimately, they never get past the think mode and they come up with great ideas, but they just don’t hit action mode. Then they’re a bunch of people that are doers. You know, these people, they’re on the move. They’re adventurous. They’re willing to take a chance. They are in action mode now, sometimes to their detriment. Sometimes they just you know, it’s fire ready, aim. 

John Sometimes they just take steps. But over time, that type of person accomplishes a lot. Yeah, they may make a ton of mistakes. But that’s OK, that’s part of growth, that’s part of accomplishment, they’re not afraid to make mistakes because they know that, hey, if I do 10 things, you know, maybe seven of them don’t work, but three of them do. Now, I got three things at work. Now I’m going to do ten more things. Seven and may not work. That’s all right. I got three more things and I got six things at work they just keep doing and taking action. I’ve always admired and respected those types of people and I try to be that type of person. So just ask yourself, are you that do or are you more of the talker or you’re more the thinker? And just the easiest way is just look back at the last few months. 

John Can you think of a lot of things you talked about doing and never did? Is there a lot of things on your to-do list that you never did? You wrote them down, you said you were going to do this morning routine thing, and then you didn’t stick with it. You didn’t do it. Ultimately, you’re getting caught in that mode of being a thinker or a talker. OK, bottom line, though, if you make a decision to do something, step one, do it. Don’t procrastinate. Just do it. Get into action mode and do it. If it’s a multi-step process and you’ve got to do 10 things, start with step one, start it today, do step one today. Write it down what? Step one, do number three. 

John OK, don’t just say, hey, I’m going to starting in a week. Let me think about it a little bit more. When you’ve truly made a decision, you’re ready for action. If you’re not ready for action, guess what? You haven’t made a decision. So don’t give yourself the credit for making the decision, OK? And call people out on this. Honestly, they’ll appreciate it over time. But don’t give yourself credit for making a decision that you really haven’t made. It ultimately comes down to whether or not you are ready and willing to take action on that decision. If you are not, then you’re still in think mode. You’re still in talk mode, you’re not in do mode. So get in do mode. That’s how stuff happens. Nobody’s accomplished things just by talking about it. Nobody’s gotten in better shape by talking about going to the gym or thinking about it or thinking about dieting, thinking about eating healthy. You know what? I don’t understand why I’ve gained weight. I mean, all I’ve done is think about salmon and broccoli and asparagus and really healthy food. 

John I mean, of course, I eat cheeseburgers and pizza, but I’ve thought about all these great foods and I’ve thought about all the exercises that I’m doing in my head. But I don’t look and feel good. I don’t get it. Well, hello. Yeah, OK. You get my point anyway. I hope this helps. Maybe you can think of some people that you look at as the decision procrastinator. If you can’t think of anybody. Yeah. Maybe that’s you. Hopefully, it’s not. But I’m sure you’re caught every so often in that situation. So snap out of it. Get in the action mode. All right. Do it. Just do it as Nike says. 

John All right, everybody, thanks for your time again. Appreciate your reviews. Five-star reviews go down below. Subscribe, share, like all that kind of good stuff. And we’ll see you next time. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for joining us on today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader for suggestions or inquiries about having me at your next event or personal coaching, reach me at John@johnlaurito.com Once again. That’s John@johnlaurito.com. Thanks, lead on!