Today host John Laurito talks about one lesson he learned while he was in Maui. He shares the importance of being able to ask for help even when you’re the leader of your organization instead of letting your ego take over.
[1:13] A lesson from Maui
[6:54] Emotional competency
[9:36] Ask for help
John (Intro): Over the last two decades, I’ve been on an insatiable quest to learn everything I can about leadership. What makes the best leaders so good? After running companies small and large over the last 20 years, today I speak on stages all across the world to audiences who are interested in that same question. My name is John Laurito. I’m your host, and I invite you to join me on this journey as we explore this very topic and what makes the best leader so good? Welcome to Tomorrow’s Leader.
John: All right. Welcome to today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader, where we dive deep on all things leader-related, related to leading yourself and leading others. I’m John Laurito, your host. Good to see you again at the crack of dawn. What am I saying? Crack in the middle of the night on a Monday night, I think it is. Or Tuesday morning, 12:00 in the morning and I’m podcasting. What a great way to bring in the day. I get the podcast at midnight. I love it. This is my new sweet spot. So this is what I’m going to actually do podcasts. I’ve done a few of them in the middle of the night and actually, it’s kind of fun. Anyway, I just had a great night. It is beautiful weather. I hope you’re enjoying this phenomenal time of the year because it is like 72 degrees in the evening here. No humidity, no bugs. I’m sitting outside eating dinner, chilling out, watching TV, relaxing, I mean, watching the Celtics win it, and just having a great night. And now I get the podcast.
John: So. All right. So tonight’s topic, I should say this morning’s topic, is a leadership lesson. I’m going to do a few of these, actually, because I think they kind of breaking up, they can be broken up into different topics. But today’s topic is a leadership lesson that I learned in Hawaii. I just got back, as you know, from Hawaii. Had a great, amazing trip with the kids. Nick, Skye, and I had a blast and some stuff happened that was just, you know, we had, you know, so much fun. But inevitably, you know, you just have different things happen, different experiences. And I look back and I reflect that I’m like, you know, there’s a great leadership lesson in there.
John: So today’s episode is brought to you courtesy of Maui. So one of the things we did, which I highly recommend, is if you ever go to Maui or any part of Hawaii. If you can, rent a Jeep. Or some kind of convertible where you can get the top off, doors off maybe and just ride around the island with all these views, captivating views and in the open-air, it is unbelievable. So we did that and we rented a Jeep. And for those of you who I’m friends with on Facebook, I just posted a bunch of videos. You’ll see this jeep. And if we’re not Facebook friends, then just send me an invite. We’ll be Facebook friends. You can see what I’m talking about. So the Jeep that we rented was this badass, like lifted Jeep with big tires green. It was just the coolest Jeep. And by the way, I did it on an app called Turo. Let me just double-check that. I think it’s Turo.
John: So if you’re trying to rent a car, it’s actually an easy way. It’s kind of like the Vrbo or Airbnb off cars. So it’s not rental agencies, it’s actually individuals that are renting cars. Turned out it worked. Somebody recommended to me this episode is sponsored by Turo. So in any event, this is how we got our Jeep. And so we’re staying at a place, great place, and they have valet parking there at the hotel, the resort. And so every day. You kind of pull up and give them the keys, a park, and you tell them when you want the car and they bring it
- I mean, super, super convenient. Obviously, you pay for that, but the super convenient maid made it really easy every day to just walk out in the Jeep’s pulled up ready for you.
John: So one day though of this whole week, it wasn’t pulled upfront, but it was not far away. I could see it. It was just parked off to the side and we were leaving. And I can’t remember if I said to the person, Hey, why don’t you just give me the keys? Or maybe he just did give me the keys. And he said, Yeah, it’s right over there. So Nick and I were going out. We jump into the Jeep and I realize that this Jeep is like, really wedged pretty tightly in between two cars. Now it’s backed into the spot, so all I have to do is pull out and, you know, we’re lifted, It’s a big you know, again, these tires are huge and it’s just, I’m not used to driving it.
John: But nevertheless, I’m like, okay, it’s. A Jeep, I’ve driven a Jeep before. But it is tight. And I just remember I got in and I’m like, jeez, you know, that’s not the easiest exit out of this spot. And it was kind of like there wasn’t that much room to go forward to kind of bank the turn relatively soon but nevertheless, you know, how many times have we pulled out of a parking spot? A tight spot? A zillion times. No problem. No problem. Laurito, you got this? So I start pulling out. I’m in the driver’s seat, my son’s in the passenger seat, and I just kind of pull out, turn, and I just hear this horrible crunch. I’m not even talking about, like, a. scrape or a crash. I hear a crunch, and I’m like, what? And Nick is like, “Dad, you literally just ran over the car next to us”. And I’m like, I’m like, “Nick, what are you talking about?’ He said, “You literally just ran over the car right next to us”. Now, this car next to us was a smaller sedan and it was like a little Toyota. A very small one.
John: And it sat pretty low. And these tires on our Jeep were huge. So when he said I ran over a car, I swear to God, it was like I was a tank. And I ran over the front quarter panel of this car. Tore the whole bumper. Off, smashed the whole front side. I mean, it was just like I
literally ran over the thing. It was unreal. And it just happened so fast. And I’m like, oh, my God, you know what? And I’m just thinking, I stop everybody. You know, the sound is just, if you. ever heard a sound of a car getting crunched and run over by a tank, I mean, it’s a horrific sound. Everybody heard it. Everybody turns and looks.
John: The valets are looking in and some of them are pointing at them, even laughing. I’m like, what are you kidding? What? And honestly, a whole different mentality in Hawaii. Everybody’s very, very laid back. I love it. But yeah, at that moment I was not appreciative of that. But even I guess it happens a lot. I don’t know. Maybe it does. Maybe they’re used to it. So I go over to the guy, I’m like, all right, so what do I do? He said I’ll call security. A security guy comes over. The security guy was super nice and you know, helpful. Took care of it. The bottom line is, I’m looking at this thing. I’m like, Oh, my gosh, what am I going to you know, we were trying to go somewhere. We were now waiting around for half an hour, 45 minutes. Time is getting eaten. I just I was starting to get really upset. I’m like, this just sucks and blah, blah, blah. And a couple of things that just kind of occurred to me.
John: One, my son was awesome. Nick was great, and he just said. “Listen, Dad, let’s not worry about it just like, you know what? We’re on vacation. We’re in Maui. We get the whole week. This is the beginning of our trip, by the way, with a whole week ahead of us. Let’s just relax and just let’s forget about the whole thing”. And I’m like, you know what, buddy? You’re absolute. Right. Man. I mean, what I what good am I going to do by. Carrying this thing around. Me and just have it ruin my night and my day and, you know, potentially think about
it through the whole trip. I’m like, you know what? You’re right. Like, how many times does something happen?
John: We just carry it with us and then it affects everything else. Like, I mean, just think about it, you know, as a leader, how many times do you have an interaction, a bad meeting, a bad conversation, a bad day, and you carry that into other parts of your life or other days or other interactions or other people. That you’re leading and they pay the price because you had one bad interaction and they have no idea they had nothing to do with it. Right? So I’m thinking, you know what I’m like, Nick you’re right, man. This is great. This is a great leadership lesson.
John: You know, this is emotional competency. Right. I’ve just got to listen. It happened. It was a mistake. It sucked. I’m going to pay a price for it. I know. But you know, can I do anything about it? Can I do it over again? Can I undo it? Can I erase it? No. So let’s just move past that. But here’s the interesting other things I thought about when I got in the Jeep, I was about to pull out, I’m thinking to myself, okay, I should ask Nick to look and be my eyes for me on the right-hand side of the car. And I’m like, yeah, I got it. And sure enough, you know, I live to regret that decision significantly. And again, it made me realize as leaders, how many times are we in situations and for. whatever reason, our ego just gets in the way of us asking for help?
John: Like, I know when I’m running organizations, I want my people to ask for help. I don’t want them to try and be that, you know, lone soldier. That’s out there trying to win the war by themselves or trying to figure stuff out by themselves or when they’re in a bad situation, they’re just too afraid or too proud to ask for help because, in reality, all I had to do was say, “Hey, Nick, just take a look over the right-hand side, be my eyes, let me know, am I getting close to this car?” And he would have done it. No sweat. And I wouldn’t even, it’s not like it reflects poorly on me. It’s just my ego in that nanosecond was more important than doing it right, you know, and it just I regretted that. So that was the other thing is okay, another leadership lesson, ask for help when you’re just when your mind says, hey, you know what, I think I could use some help here. I need this or whatever.
John: Just go with it. Just ask for help. The other thing, too, is I found myself getting angry at the valets and I got angry at them because they parked the car so close. Two things that got me angry. Three things. One is that one of the guys chuckled. Secondly is that they parked the car so damn close to the other car. It was like I was set up for failure. How am I going to pull it out of there? I mean, I almost felt like they knew it. They knew it was going to happen. Third is, of all the times that I came out the whole week, that was the single time they gave me the keys and told me to get the car. Every other time, they got the car and I didn’t have a problem with that, I mean, I could see the car wasn’t even that far away and didn’t need them to pull it up. But now I kind of realize why they do that for these reasons.
John: But I’m like, okay, so why did that have to be the time that you let me? You broke your own procedures and let me take the car. Like, why couldn’t you just stick to your process? And I found myself getting mad at the valets, not just one of them. All of them. And it wasn’t until I kind of snapped out of it. I’m like, okay, truly, whose fault is this? It’s my fault. 100%. It’s not Nick’s fault. It’s not the car’s fault. It’s not the valet’s fault. It’s not the resort’s fault. It’s not the other person. The owner of the car. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s my fault, right? So I’ve just
got to accept the ownership of that. I can’t put the blame on other people. And by the way, if I do that, that’s not setting a good example as a leader. So Nick has seen that I blame the valets. I mean, he knows it’s my fault. I know it’s my fault. So how many times is a leader, how many times have you seen a leader point the finger at other people or other places or other companies or other people? And it’s truly their mistake or their fault yet they’re blaming other people?
John: How do you feel about that leader? I know about you, but I just lose respect for that person, right? It’s like, okay if you made a mistake and everybody does own up to it as a leader, that’s one of the most important things you can do. Right? Set that example. Okay, my mistake. I owned up to it and just drop it. Okay? I can get angry, but I get angry at myself. Not people that really didn’t have anything to do with it. I’m the one that put the car in drive and ran over the other car and went into tank mode, which was kind of fun. No, not really, but well, yeah, it was a little bit fun for a minute.
John: So anyway, that’s my leadership lesson. Coming to you from Maui, Hawaii, but I hope that was helpful. So a couple of things. Ask for help. Don’t put the blame on other people. And you know what? Pay the price and then move on. Drop it. Right, drop it. Doesn’t matter. It’s not worth it. Right? Not worth carrying it for other people, in other situations, and carrying it with you and having to wear you down, it’s just not worth it. So I hope that was helpful. Hope you enjoy the show as always like, share, subscribe do all that kind of good stuff. Let me know your thoughts and ideas on great guests. Great content for future episodes. Let’s get connected on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. If we’re not already, reach out, and send me an invite. I will reply. I will link in with you. I will connect with you. I will be a friend on Facebook with you. And of course, go down below and give a five-star review and we will see you next time. Thanks.
John (Closing): Thanks for joining us on today’s episode of Tomorrow’s Leader. For suggestions, or inquiries, about having me at your next event, or personal coaching, reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org Once again, that’s email@example.com. Thanks! Lead on!